Weekend Roundup...

So the question is: How did I do this weekend?

The answer is: Not nearly as well as I would have liked to do!

It all started on Friday. I usually eat breakfast - oatmeal and fruit or yogurt at the office around 9 or so. But I had a 9:30 meeting ans was rushing to get ready so I did not do that.

Lunch time came I was in my car and had nothing at work for lunch or even snacks so I decided to get a Baked potato from Wendy's. Not the worlds

worst choice, but at the drive through I heard the

e
vil words come out of my mouth "And an order of spicy nuggets!"

Forget about the calories/fat/Points of those but really, I should not be eating that crap at all! I mean really, I am an organic farmer, I know what they are and are not (namely "real" chicken but rather mechanically processed chicken bits (makes me sick to even think about it!)). But none the less and ate it, and since I had not had breakfast I was not over where I should be at lunch on my Weight Watchers Points, but by the time I got home for supper I was RAVENOUS!

My wonderful husband had made an Onion Panade for dinner. Now if you do not know what that is, it is a whole casserole of the wonderful goodness which is the top of French Onion Soup. It is dried bread, caramelized onions, and cheese. Layer it all top with chicken broth and more cheese and bake! HEAVEN! I ate two bowls of it without even stopping to think about putting it in my tracker. And since it was so great I topped it off with half a bottle of white wine.

The next morning, Saturday. Still in my "I DON'T CARE" attitude I had a wonderful breakfast which cost almost half my points for the day! After I had finished that off I took the time to enter the Panade Recipe into Weight Watcher's Recipe Builder. 51 points for the recipe with 4 servings and I ate about 2-1/2 servings of it. Oh, and don't forget the half bottle of wine. So supper cost me 44 points! That is way over my daily allowance. So if you add in my awful lunch on Friday I blew away half of my Weekly "Discretionary" points as well.

For those of you who do Weight Watchers you may notice that my Friday meal plan got me exactly 1 of my "Good Health Guidelines" and that one was healthy oil, from the olive oil the onions were cooked in!

My Saturday continued poorly with mashed potatoes and meat loaf for supper (and more wine). Since I had also spent the day making CUPCAKES! My day ended another 17 points in the hole!

Sunday was a bit better, hitting my points on the head, but without hitting my veggie or dairy goals for the day.

So here I am. 5 hours before my third Weigh-In and wondering what the scale will say. In the spirit of full disclosure I did step on this morning and it was happy, but all scales do not match and since then I have had two meals, coffee, water, and am dressed. So we shall see. People see "Eat all your points." I came pretty darn close so we shall see if the scale rewards or punishes me.

What I can say is that a month ago I would have not even thought about the choices I made this weekend. And I probably would have eaten a half dozen of the cupcakes by now, instead of two, so maybe it will not be as bad as I am fearing?

Fall Temptations...

Life on the farm is busy in the fall and full of temptations. This Sunday we are kicking off our fall stand - pumpkins, squash, potatoes, and lots of other yummy stuff including cupcakes! It is always nice to have something "ready to eat" for sale so people can get something for their kids. So tonight I am going to start making them. My first big baking project since I have restarted my weight loss journey. So I will have to try to be "good" and not taste test - too many - cupcakes. Wish me luck!

(the photo is me decorating a cake this spring at a live cake completion I did as an assistant to a friend who decorates cakes)

My trinkets...

I am a pretty visual tactile person. So I wanted someway to help myself visualize what I am doing! I decided a bracelet would be a great way to do that. So I made it yesterday.

One bead for each pound. So far I am down 5 pounds since I joined Weight Watchers again two weeks ago. A small bead for most pounds and a big one for each 5. Once I get to my 10% I may remake it with real silver or I may just add a bigger bead of some kind. I have a long way to go for that!

I hope I have an extra bead or two to add most weeks, and that I do not have to take to many off, because that will be sad...

Dangerously unhealthy!

So according to the Doctor Oz quiz I am dangerously unhealthy!

Well that is not a real surprise. My BMI is 44.1, but that is down one point already from two weeks ago!

The Million Dollar Me site asked me how I felt today. I feel a little frustrated, if you must know, because I wonder even if I loose 2 pounds a week until April (which is pretty unlikely), if I will still be one star and dangerously unhealthy?

I would still be over 200 pounds (203) and a BMI of 34.8. I would have lost over 20% of my body weight, and I would be lighter then I had been since before I could drive. I would feel so much better about myself although I would still be Obese.

My lowest weight in the past 15 years, since my crash diet in college when I got to 220 & destroyed my gallbladder. That would be a huge victory if I could get there with a BMI of 37.8 . Still "Seriously Obese."

If I could be "just Obese" with a BMI of 39.9 that would be a victory at 232, and as low as I had been since I graduated college 14 years ago. To

not be "Morbidly Obese" would be a major

victory. I got within FOUR pounds of this weight

in 2007 when I did weight watchers the first time.

Any of those, I have a feeling will not change how Dr. Oz and the world feels about me being a "fat girl." I am sure I will still be "Dangerously Unhealthy." But maybe it will change how I feel about me being the "fat girl."

Maybe....

The beginning of my Journey!

So I am just now beginning my journey to better health!

At 265 pounds I am frustrated by myself. Annoyed with me and I want to be the me I could be.

I have not been under 220 pounds since I was 20, that is 17 long years. The last time I was under 200 I could not even drive.

After having had huge success with Weight

Watchers in 2007, I recently decided to rejoin and recommit to me. My first weigh in put me at 262.6 pounds. At my height that means my BMI is over 45, and I have over 120 pounds to loose. Even if I could maintain 2 pounds a week that is over a year of loss. That is a long time.

But when I think that if I had started this last September I might be homing in on my goal? That gives me huge hope! (This photo is of me just a couple weeks ago, at old Fort Niagara, this is about as much of a close up as you will see of me.)

Is it just coincidence that two weeks after I rejoined Weight Watchers Doctor Oz started Transformation Nation? I DON'T THINK SO! I am going to work on a Million Dollar me! I want to feel like a million dollars & I am ready to do the work.

But right now, I am not worrying about the final goal. I am setting many mini-goals. My first BIG goal is to be under a 40 BMI by Christmas, that also, happens to be close with 10% of my body weight.